Monday, January 31, 2011

My Heart Feels Heavy

"I don't know what's happening around me, but there's a buzz and I can't seem to enjoy it.

The girl who revelled in anything that would make her buzz now feels like she's sitting back and watching the world go by without being able to include herself in it.

There was a time not long ago that I wasn't scared of anything, but now? Now, I feel like I can't do anything. Each day comes and goes and its like I haven't done a thing but I'm exhausted by it. Friends tell me about their daily lives, I live through them. But I can't share that enthusiasm that I was able to before. What's happened to me?

Each day I still think about "him" and how he is, what he's doing? I'm sure he's ok, I haven't heard otherwise. I sometimes wonder what would happen in years to come. How would I feel if I were to see him again"

this is actually the first blog I looked at today after talking to a good friend about where my heart is at right now and how we can help my heart to heal...AND this was exactly what I said to her...basically.

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