Sunday, July 24, 2011

What is my life

Summer time. Sweet sweet summer time.
A lot has happened this summer. I mean, that is usually the case.

I worked at Durley for a week. Discovered the true side to some people and letting God reveal the beautiful side of people. I was sad to leave there because I had just began to make friends and didn't want to leave.

I was off to SOS when I got back from camp. I love SOS. I worked on a roof with some 12 year olds, and let me tell you...I don't know what was more difficult...the roof or the 12 year olds. hahaha.

I went to Greenville for the wonderful wedding of my awesome friends, Tim and Annie. They both had the biggest smiles plastered on their faces the entire time. Love is great. I wish them the best. It was also great to see friends that I haven't seen in a long time. It brought back a lot of memories...good and bad. Once again, it was sad to part ways. It was like a tease.

I also got to know a new friend even better. I like making new friends. Especially ones in which I believe God brought to me for a reason...and believing we will be friends for a long long time.

But most of all this summer brings to mind two words...JOB SEARCH. as well as two emotions...FRUSTRATION and DISAPOINTMENT.  I have spent ALL summer looking for a job. I need one really really bad. This is the most crucial time to do as the good old hymn says...Trust and Obey for there is no other way. I am doing my best. I never imagined myself having this much trouble finding a job. Growing up you just have a completely different picture in your head of how you think everything is going to go. I do have a problem with thinking its my fault when something doesn't go right or it seems like everything is going wrong...I blame myself for all of it thinking I had failed. I had failed and missed what God was trying to show me/give me.

I got home from greenville to find my first bill. My school loans have come back to haunt me. I opened it..and started to cry. I don't have money to pay it right now....but this is exactly the time to not panic and run in circles, but to stop and drop...gettin on those knees to speak to the one who is all knowing and all loving.

Anyways, its still a struggle and a journey. I know and believe things will get better especially because I know there are others out there who care enough to pray and trust right along side me :)