Friday, September 23, 2011


Well, I am in Peoria.
It's been weird.
It has not been bad in anyway.
I think it's just been weird for me and a little hard because I have no one to share this experience with. If that makes sense. I mean, I am here by myself where I don't know anyone. I go home to an empty house after work, and don't have anyone to share my day with/my new experiences being here.

Anyways, other than that its been great. I just have to get used to a lot of things. Learning a lot. They throw a million and one things at you when you first arrive. It's different than Little rock because at least there I had my family. This is the first time in my life where I am literally on my own. It is for sure a growing experience and it is forcing me to become a real adult.

I pray everyday that I made the right decision, and that God blesses my days.
Tonight I am going to a homecoming football game. ONe of my small group girls, Gwen, is a cheerleader :)

Hope the weekend treats everyone well.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Grow up or not Grow up...that is the question

I have a job.
I am an employed person.
I am a real adult.

I am soooo scared.
I am having to start all over, again.
What if I disapoint?

I am a horrible person.
I got a speeding ticket today.
My first one. dang it.
I am in big big trouble for it.

Things were going well.
I cried the whole way home because I was so embarrassed/ashamed of my ticket.
I haven't told the parents yet.

I am in distress.
It's a happy time
It's a sad time.
I feel bad for leaving my little brother at home alone.

I should be excited.
I am, really.
I didn't think moving away and being on my own would be this hard.

I can do this.
I think I can...
I think I can...
I think I can.

1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out ofdarkness into his marvelous light.

Saturday, September 10, 2011


I have the first part of my interview tomorrow. I am super super super nervous!!!
Here is my schedule in case you want to pray accordingly :)

Saturday Night
6pm- dinner with mom and her daughter
8:30pm- ice cream with youth

9:30am- Church service 
10:45- Sunday school with Youth group
1:30pm- Interview with SPR committee
5pm- Youth Group Fall Kick off

10am- Interview with church staff

Sooooo... prayers would be much appreciated. I just really hope I do well, and I am myself. I don't usually do too well in new/unfamiliar situations. 

God guides, God provides.
Amen. Amen.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Another Climb

I just want to start off by saying that today was a good day. I don't actually get to say that too often...well here in the recent past anyways. I thoroughly enjoyed my day.

I slept in...first good thing.
I had cheesy garlic bread for brunch :)
I watched a million episodes of the cosby show.
I decided to go check out Pinnacle Mountain State Park. It is only twenty minutes from my house. When I got there, I was the only car in the parking lot. I found the trail head and began my hike. It was very pleasant. First of all, it was like 75 degrees outside. perf.
I was the only one on the mountain.It was really different than walkabout, and I LOVED it. ha. I didn't have a 40 pound pack on my back and it was only a couple miles long.
The thing I didn't like about it at first was the fact that I was alone. Not a soul could be seen or heard for miles. Honestly, I got a little scared. You hear noises, and my mind plays tricks. I found a lot of little cool areas that I like to call "pondering places". Areas that you can just sit and take it all in.
I finally made it to the top. Took some photos. I sat at the top of the mountain and read psalm 100-101. It was delightful.

1 Make a joyful shout to the LORD, all you lands!
 2 Serve the LORD with gladness;
         Come before His presence with singing.
 3 Know that the LORD, He is God;
         It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
         We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
 4 Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,
         And into His courts with praise.
         Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.
 5 For the LORD is good;
         His mercy is everlasting,
         And His truth endures to all generations.

I just sat there and listened. It was peaceful. I had a view of Arkansas River and the other mountain tops. I got called down from the mountain early because Mom made me go get brother from school. I like going back to this idea that Christ had about going to the hillside to pray OR like other biblical figures did, like going to the Mountain to seek God.
I hope to do it again. I will do it again.

The day ended with Mom and I watching the Republican Presidential Candidate Debate. It was actually pretty interesting. I was the commentator at home... ha. Making comments mostly about the people in the background. 

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Belly button!

                                              Something's missing from his midriff's decor!

Flea Market Jesus

This is Flea Market Jesus ;) We saw it on our way up to Grama's house in the middle of nowhere arkansas, ha.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Boggle Part 2

Okay, now this is the second read the first part first. Sorry it's long.

 I have been journaling my thoughts. I want to share them with you. They will probably be sporadic and even a little irrational...but remember they are from my journal, that's where those thoughts go. There are some good thoughts though, ha.

"I don't have money in my account to pay my bills. I don't know what I am gonna do. I guess really there is only one thing I can do. TRUST God. He will pay. I will obey. I will stand on the promises of God. Why would I want to stand anywhere else? God. I am very conflicted. I keep hearing the word "faithful" and I know in my head that you are, but sometimes my heart says otherwise. I know that every good thing comes from you. I will take you everywhere. We will conquer and overcome. The Lord is my banner. Be the banner over my finances. Be the banner over my relationships. Be the banner over my job.  I just want to cry. I just want you to tell me what to do. Should I stay? I don't want to leave if the Human Trafficking shelter opens, and they can eventually give me a job. If the Peoria job is given to me, I am gonna have to take it because its all I got right now. I just want to be real with someone...just let it all out and then let them give me a hug. I feel like I never know if I am doing the right thing. Just keep seeking."

"During this fast I want God to renew my vision. Give me a vision. I want to be so close to God that I don't hesitate anymore because I am unsure of something. I woke up this morning, and my first thought was, Oh I will just go down and get food. Nope. Dang it. Well then I will just watch TV. Nope. Dang it. I have to stay focused. ...Last night I couldn't fall asleep. Thoughts invaded my mind!!! ..... food runs my life. Everywhere I turn, its there."

"GOD! SERIOUSLY TELL ME WHAT TO DO OR WHERE TO GO! I mean I don't feel like either choice would be a wrong choice. One has to be better than the other though, right? I am probably making this harder on myself than it needs to be. Why do I always seem to be the  indecisive, jobless, no specific calling person...everyone tells me how great I am and that I'd be good at so many things...then why is it so hard! I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I do think I am a pretty good catch :) for an employer or a boy, ha."

"today mom said I could get a snack from sonic!! of all days!! She never offers that! ugh..."
"I should instead be asking, which job or area could I most glorify God? I don't know.  I have been thinking about what a leader told me one time on a mission trip. She was talking to three of us who had the name Elizabeth. She said, you know your parents named you that for a reason. It was blessed. Just like Elizabeth in the bible discipled and prepared John, who was the one who prepared the way for Christ, YOU will prepare the younger generation, who will be the ones to prepare the way for Christ."

Boggle Part 1

     So, as some of you know I have been doing some serious job searching lately as well as fasting and praying. I believe they all go hand in hand and you can't have one without the other. Here are my thoughts on the last few days. Questions and comments are welcomed :)
     When I felt like I was just at an end, with no where else to go. I had no idea what to do next (job wise). I tried to think of what people in scripture did at those times. I mean, when I say I am at an end, its not quite as serious as in bible times. I did however reflect upon the act of fasting. It was done in times of great need and turmoil. It was a time when people sought out the face of God. They wanted to take away all other distractions and simply focus on the heart of God. You want to simply worship Him during those times you would normally eat. It doesn't mean doing a lot of talking. When you are in tune with God, your hearts beat as one, you will find what you are looking for. This is also the time when Satan attacks. He knows you are vulnerable. He will try to fill your mind with a million thoughts, fill your day with requests from others, unnecessary tasks, etc so that you will be distracted. Many people believe that every christian should attempt a 40 day fast at least once in their lifetime.
     Anyways, so I chose to fast. I really felt like I just needed to take away all distractions and focus on God in order to some what understand His ways and where He is leading me. Let me set up the scene for you. I was approached by a friend on facebook about an opening for a Youth Assistant Director in Peoria. This is a friend that I haven't talked to for three years almost. He is a greenville grad. He said he was just browsing facebook, saw my name, and thought "hmmm...she'd be good for this position. I will ask her."  I really never wanted to get back into Youth ministry, but I wasn't gonna throw it out the window yet. Well, I sent him my resume and said that I would think about it. He responded by saying that the staff was impressed with my resume. The lady in charge is supposed to be calling me soon to give me details and talk to me about possibly coming up Sept. 11 for an interview. I am not dreading this job anymore. I have actually become quite excited about the possibility! Plus, if I did get it and move to Peoria, I would be closer to friends, and be able to get my own place. Still waiting to hear from Linda, the lady in charge.
     The same time this is going on as well, I was contacted by a lady here in Little Rock who is wanting to open a shelter for Human Trafficking victims. I wasn't sure if she would let me help out or not since I don't have a lot of professional experience. We began emailing. I went with Louise to a lunch today. It is a lunch that happens every Thursday and people from nonprofits, churches, businesses etc gather to eat, hear a speaker, and do some networking. It's a great thing. The speaker today was the county sheriff who was awesome! He was also the one who told Louise she could go with a cop the next time he does a prostitution sting..she asked me if I wanted to come along!!! heck yes. Anyways, they were super excited I was there. They want me to help them with getting the word out, developing a curriculum/program to take into the public schools and present to the youth there. I could be good at that. I have always wanted to work with Human Trafficking! BUT the down side is they can't pay me to do it. I would have to find a job somewhere else and volunteer for them. I haven't found another job yet.
   Question: Do I stay here or go there? I mean, I haven't officially been offered the other job yet so who knows it might be an easy answer. It still frustrates/makes me a nervous wreck.