Monday, October 24, 2011

Da Weekend

So. This weekend has been full of surprises!
I woke up at 6am to go to six flags on saturday. I had a bus full of jr. high and sr. high kids jammin to Lecrae.
We arrived at noon.
I got to ride a whole three rides! The scooby doo ride was my favorite though. I got legit scared at one point, haha. We were going through a dark tunnel and I could here a scary monster on the side!! I rode the ride with my new friend Laura because we were the "bag ladies". We held everyone's stuff while they rode rides. I was a little sad because i LOVE roller coasters and I really wanted to ride all of them. I had to remember that my job here is to make sure they have fun so I was willing to do a lot of sitting. It is a good thing that I had Laura there or else it would have been super boring. We talked the entire time we were waiting for the kids to ride. Laura goes to the Uof I. She was active in the youth group in high school. We were talking about scary movies and how we like to watch them but no one will ever watch them with we were like, lets just go tonight! ha. so we did. We went and saw paranormal activity 3 at midnight which was the time we got back from six flags. The theater was so packed with ghetto people. It was super funny to watch all of them jump and scream throughout the movie. It wasn't as scary as we thought it would be, but it was still good. There was a random/awkward almost sex scene. I hate that. No one told me that was in there. Just a bad judgement call on my end.
I was sick of jr.high girls though! This one girl started crying and saying she wanted to go home. No one knew why...except that she wasn't getting exactly what she wanted. I couldn't handle that. I just told her how it is and to stop crying and enjoy herself.
Im pretty excited about my new friend though. We just really clicked. We literally just met each other as we were walking into six flags and we were going to a movie and hanging out that night :) She invited me to come to Normal, IL sometime and hang I might just do that.
I haven't felt the greatest this weekend. I'm not sure what it is. I just feel tired. I thought it was just because all week I sit behind a desk and don't have much conversation/human interaction. I just hope there isn't something wrong. It's like the symptoms of someone who is low on iron...but I'm not. I had a doctor give me iron pills once before, but I only took them for like a couple weeks. Every time I give blood they tell me my iron is just fine. So, i don't know what it is. I do want it to go away though. I just never feel energized even if i eat right.
Sunday night i was sitting on my bed after coming home from youth group thinking about going to bed early...then I just was sick of not having anyone around to talk to me. When I am not feeling well I just want to sit while having my friends just around. I don't know if that makes sense. So, I figured I could spend 30 bucks to go to greenville...might have to skip a few meals this next week, ha, but it'd be worth it. So i drove down. It felt so nice. Those hugs that I got were the best ones ive got in a LONG time.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Weird like Lactose

This has been a weird week for me.
It started out pretty overwhelming.
Burdens being lifted. Trying to overcome temptations.
I was pretty darn proud of myself. But it wasn't easy.
Also, I think I had a conversation consisting of at most five sentences each day.
That was it.
I need more conversation.
It's weird because before I was always bombarded with people who wanted to talk.
Having one on ones, counseling people, girls barging into your room.
Now. I kinda miss that.

I was asked to speak to a group of old ladies the second tuesday in November.
What about? I have no idea.
I hate speaking. I am not good at it.
I also have to give the message twice in November to the Youth.
Once again. I hate speaking. This is the one thing that turns me away from this job.
I am freaking out a little over it.

I bought my first carton of Lactose free milk.
We shall see if I don't get sick.
I had a Mocha Frappe today.
BAAAD idea.
Let's just say, my tummy hurt and I was in and out of the bathroom.
I still haven't figured out if dairy is the problem, but I think it is.

I might have cried a little thinking about not being able to drink Frozen Mochas anymore.
Shoot dang.

Well, time for bed. No work tomorrow, Yay!
I will sleep in and enjoy it :)

Monday, October 17, 2011

Makin things difficult.

You know that we all have issues with our emotions. We blame things on them, we think we shouldn't feel a certain way, and we think we are being ridiculous. God exhibits a spectrum of pure emotions, including joy, delight, anger, jealousy, and sorrow.
The problem is not that we HAVE emotions, but our emotions, unlike Gods, are taunted by the fall. We can express our emotions in a godly way.
There is no tool that the enemy uses more effectively to lead us into bondage than our emotions. When we allow them to be tied to our circumstances- which are constantly changing- rather than to the unchangeable realities of God and His truth, our emotions are prone to fluctuate wildly.

Just make sure you are:
Living all of life
in the presence of God
under the authority or God
and to the glory of God.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Love hurts. Love heals. Love saves.

Now, the title of this blog is something I've said before, but I believe it holds especially true right now as I write this. Those three short and (bitter) sweet statements is exactly the kind of Love I need right now.

I am super sleepy right now so I hope this all makes sense and is coherent. I hate being sleepy because it not only effects everything I do during the day, but it also makes you more vulnerable and emotional.

I drove home today (weird to say that) to Peoria at 6am. It was rough. I was doing well and then Sleep hit me in the face. Oh it was sooo hard to stay awake for the first part of the trip. The last hour wasn't so bad. I started getting a hold of my "sleepers high". While I was driving and everyone I know still sleeping, I began to pray. I prayed for family members, and each one of my greenville friends that I came into contact with this weekend. It was good. I also felt like what I prayed was meant to be prayed at that moment. It wasn't specific prayer requests that I had been given, but what was on my heart. The Spirit was helping me out a little there and I am very grateful for that because sometimes I don't know what to pray. I just felt this overwhelming feeling of Love on my way home. It was wonderful, don't get me wrong, but something that I don't feel very often so it was a little weird. God did reveal some things to me. Well, they weren't as much as things being "revealed" as they were things I already knew but He brought them up again for the millionth time because He knows its something I need to take care of soon if I want to continue in my pursuit of Holiness. Please pray that I have the strength and courage that only God can give..especially when it comes to admitting and confessing and asking for help.

This weekend was wonderful. I didn't have to drive that far Hallelujah! Oh my gosh. so good. I got to see my favorite people and a few more that I wasn't expecting! I went to a dance party with those favorite people, which I am ALWAYS up the way. My bff from college had her baby while I was there! That lil Janelle knew exactly when I was gonna be there. Me and that kid...were gonna get along just fine :) It is weird though when your friends start having babies. Erin was my first friend to have a baby. A little ahead of schedule I think, well for me anyways, baha. The baby was beautiful and I am super happy for her. It is just weird because it seems like just yesterday Erin and I were in our dorm room late at night chatting about boys and what we will name our children..shoot dang.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

First of all, I had a terrible dream last night.

Secondly, I woke up with the phrase "worship while i'm waiting" stuck in my head. I knew it was probably from a song, but I couldn't think of one.

I got in the car to go to work and the radio came on. The words "worship while I'm waiting" came blasting out of the speakers. I just sat there. I listened.

Here are some phrases that stuck out: Every step in obedience
                                                          Bold and confident
                                                          Worship while I'm waiting
                                                          I will not fail
                                                          It's not easy

I have no idea why I had this phrase stuck in my head. I haven't heard this song before...well from what I can remember. I guess in a sense we are all waiting. If we aren't waiting for something specific that God told us, then we are at least all waiting for the coming of our Lord and Savior.

Waiting is hard. So hard. It isn't easy. There is no specific answer or guideline to get through the waiting period. We just have to remain obedient and faithful. We may not know what that looks like exactly, but all we have is today. We have to take it day by day because all we have is today. Tomorrow has not yet come. We need to wake up every morning thanking God we have another day step ahead BOLD and CONFIDENT. We have today to obey. Do you want to screw that up? We have absolutely no guarantee that tomorrow will come. Don't waste today. While you wait for tomorrow, God's calling, future husband, or the return of Christ, we must Worship while we're waiting.

Look up the song While I'm waiting by John Waller