Monday, December 12, 2011


This is my prayer for all my loved ones right now. I just feel like there is a lot of hearts who need to be revived. We need to be revived so that we are completely consumed by the love of Christ and compelled to do whatever it takes to live that out and be that. I see a lack of passion and depth. I pray this for myself often. We need to be willing to do whatever it takes to rid ourselves of anything that isn't pleasing to God, rid ourselves of everything that is keeping us from being all we can be in Christ. What does your life declare? Would the world see that your life Declares the one and only Jesus Christ as Lord? or would the world see that school, friends, or money is what your life declares?  Now is the time to choose. Actually it was yesterday. Do you represent Christ well? It's something to constantly think about. Sometimes our hearts get heavy and we forget. We need to be revived. I need to be revived. daily. 

Consider my affliction and please deliver me
Plead my cause and redeem me
Salvation is not for the wicked
For they don't seek your word
Great are your tender mercies Lord

Revive me, according to your loving kindness
Revive me, that I may seek your word 
Revive me, according to your loving kindness
Revive me, oh Lord

You give me understanding
According to your word
Great peace for those who seek your face
I long for salvation
My lips shall praise your name
I rejoice in the treasure of your keep

For all my ways are before you
I let your hand become my help
My soul longs and adores you
Let my cry come before you oh Lord

Oh, Revive me
Revive me

Black, White, and Grey

Some things in life are not black and white...but grey. Sometimes its difficult to live life that the grey. When it is in the grey, it can go either way. A struggle for me is whether or not some things are bad/sin. It would be easier if scripture spoke of everything and just told us yes or no and was blatantly clear about all things. Its not. dang it. Therefore, we have to discern for ourselves whether or not certain things are alright or if its a sin. What if we choose wrong!? Moral dilemmas. A person can get exhausted trying to think about it and trying to figure it out. A lot of times I tend to think that if you are constantly worried about something you are doing is bad...then it probably is. If you are praying about it, and remaining close to God, and you don't feel like you are getting an answer..not an audible one, not even an answer that is spoken through someone else....and you still are worried about it constantly and you are genuine...then go with your gut because if you genuinely want to please God and be like Christ, then He won't let you continue to worry or make the wrong decision. You just have to trust and obey, for there is no other way.

Right now, I am having my own dilemma of whether or not something that is apart of my life every now and then is really good or bad (if that makes sense). It has been on my mind for a long time. Every time it appears in my life, there begins a debate in my head. Most of the time I go against my internal feeling, my gut which is probably a bad thing. Like i said before, if I genuinely desire to do the right thing and live a blameless life, than the Spirit will not let me make false choices, as long as I continue to seek after Him and desire to be like Him. Thinking too much can be a bad thing. I do that sometimes.

I just really want to be on the right track. I want to be blameless in the presence of my Lord. How can Christ be lifted high in my life, if I continue to let satan have a hold of my secrets and struggles in the dark...being brought to light is when it becomes Truth and you can be set free. For the light reveals all and there is no hiding. When things are in the light...they are black and white...not grey. Seek out the light, stay in the light, and you shall see the black and white more clearly. Then you can go forth and spread the light to help others that we can all be on the same page...desiring to live a life worthy of our calling and helping each other to do that.

Thinking out loud here. hope it makes sense.
Look up the song Before and After by Jimmy Needham
here is a link for the lyrics and the meaning behind the song

Monday, December 5, 2011

Thoughts from Today

Sometimes I get mad at myself for not being good at being crafty. I just wanna be so bad. Nobody knows when I give them something I made how many times I messed up before I got it right or how many times I had to restart.

Today was good but also not so good. I think I could be a nun in the sense of taking the vow of silence. The only conversation I had today was with the lady at Hobby Lobby who was checking me out and that was a whole like five words.

Earlier I got really mad because I just wanted to find a certain picture of a tree/leaves on Google and there were SO MANY pictures of naked people. It drives me crazy that I can't simply look for a picture of a tree without seeing that. I had to put my web browser on "strict" when it came to websites. I can't be seeing those things...doesn't help me at all. It is so bad these days. The level of sexuality that our culture allows to be public and act like its alright. We don't usually notice because we grew up with it and just got use to it. Do you want to be use to that? Its not right. We are way to lax with those kinds of things. Its every where...even hidden in childrens movies and shows, sexual connotations. Anyways, it just made me mad.

I really wish I could go see my friends COR presentations tomorrow. It kills me just a little that I can't be there to support them. I'll just be here praying from afar ;)  I know they will do great. I mean I pretty much know what they are all gonna say, ha, because I've been hearing about it all semester. It will be a grand day when its all over and they don't have to worry about it. I remember those days. Not too fun. It was alright. I think my group did a really good job. I guess we were "that group" ha. Everyone and their mom came to ours. The other members of my group were all pretty popular around campus, ha so that probably helped.  Don't miss it though thats for sure.

I got two blisters today, a huge random bruise on my shin, and sliced my knuckle open. this is what trying to be crafty does to me. I am a mess. It is one reason why I don't like people to watch me do self conscious, ha. and a mess.

I organized my closet today! yay me! finally. Okay well I won't bore you anymore with the lovely details of my life today. Time to work on some Christmas presents!

Remember to always choose Joy.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Let the Waters Rise

This song did a lot of good today. Sometimes I feel like there is a raging sea right in front of me. Whether that raging sea is homework, relationships, stress, loneliness, or sin we just have got to Trust God. Sometimes we have to go through the "storm" so we can learn to recognize Gods voice in the midst. He may not calm your "storm" but He will calm YOU in the midst of your "storm". Those are words to always remember.

Here are the lyrics. I love lyrics. I think about them a lot because sometimes they say things a lot better and it makes more sense than anything I can get to come out of my mouth.

Don’t know where to begin, it’s like my world’s caving in
And I try but I can’t control my fear
Where do I go from here?
Sometimes it’s so hard to pray when You feel so far away
But I am willing to go where You want me to
God, I trust You
There’s a raging sea right in front of me
Wants to pull me in, bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise if You want them to
I will follow You, I will follow You
I will follow You
I will swim in the deep ‘cause You’ll be next to me
You’re in the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea
You’ll never out of reach
God You know where I’ve been, You were there with me then
You were faithful before, You’ll be faithful again
I’m holding Your hand
God Your love is enough, You will pull me through
I’m holding onto You
God Your love is enough, I will follow You
I will follow You

It pretty much describes my thoughts/feelings for today.