I am terrified.
Today I had a thought.
I am in charge of making disciples out of the kids in the youth group. Essentially a lot of their spiritual life rests in my hands.
That is a big deal. It is the most important and crucial part of their life.
Also, Satan is sooooo good at getting us where it will effect us the most and those around us. He makes me believe that I can't do this job. He makes me believe that I am failing. He makes me believe that I am not equipped to teach. He makes me believe that the kids don't like me. He takes away or masks my motivation.
I continually need people to give me success stories, encouragement, and to speak Truth into my life. There is no way we can all do this on our own. Its a huge task that an only be accomplished together. Shoot. I can do anything. You know why I feel this way a lot and think those things? Because I do not spend enough time in prayer or the word. I have the power but for some reason I haven't completely tapped into it!!
To my Greenville Friends. I love you to death. This is a good thing and a bad thing. Let me explain. I LOVED being in Greenville last week. I just like having the company. great company. Friends mean the world to me that is why this is gonna be hard for me....because, I am going to ask you guys to hold me accountable. Don't let me do that ever again. Stay any other day besides friday and saturday. I mean, it would be ok if i did, but I want to be able to do my absolute best at my job...and I can't if i do that again. If that makes sense. I just have been thinking about how much good I can do in the world if I really try and really focus on God. Friends get in the way. Not because of anything they do, but just because I allow them to. They just mean sooo much to me, and I want to be with them always. I do believe that they can help me accomplish and do my best...but only in the right way. I don't want them to become my main priority anymore. Their love and support is always needed and together we can do sooo much good in this world!!
I guess what I am saying is...next time just ask me about my reasons for coming to visit or purpose behind the visit and that I am not slacking off here. I don't want it to be just a job..but my life. It will be hard for me.
It is easy for me to get down about things.
If you ever need accountability or help with your focus and priorities, let me know. I will be glad to encourage and support you as best I can. Remember as Iron sharpens Iron we are to sharpen one another.
I have decided to completely take out things in my life that are not pleasing to God or things that don't further the kingdom of God. They may not necessarily be bad things, but just things that aren't hurting me or benefiting the kingdom. I want my life to be completely God's. Its time I stop talking and really start living it.
Prayers are always appreciated.
Love always. Pray Continually. Serve faithfully.